Theory of Stupid
by Lala to the power of 2
Summary: In which Yamamoto wants to know who Gokudera's in love with, a fact which in itself proves that it really is possible for someone to be just that dumb. NOT 8059!


It was one in the afternoon, Reborn had kidnapped Tsuna for the day, and Gokudera had just turned down another girl.

None of these things, Yamamoto observed, were unusual.

The unusual part was the fact that he had really thought this one had a shot.

She was a third year, pretty, and incredibly smart. Moreover, she and Gokudera had actually had more than one civil conversation about something that flew way over Yamamoto's head like particle physics or something, and Gokudera had even volunteered to spend time with her.

It was really kind of baffling. Why on earth would Gokudera keep constantly rejecting these nice, cute girls? Unless...

"Hey, Gokudera... Could it be that you... Already like someone?" Yamamoto ventured.

The Storm Guardian looked at him as though he had just grown a second head. "What?"

"Well, it's just that you keep turning down all these girls, and that was the only reason I could think of."

Gokudera shook his head, as though the act itself could dispel the words from the air. "Are you... are you really that stupid? Could you have seriously not noticed?"

Yamamoto frowned. "Not noticed what?"

"How completely and stupidly in love I've been for the past... ALLWAYS? How could you NOT have picked up on that? I mean, I allways knew you were stupid, but... EVERYONE knows!"

"You're in love? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because everyone allready KNEW! For fuck's sake, I was practically the last one to figure it out myself, and you're telling me you of all people didn't fucking notice? That's just incredible!"

"Well, that's not fair! I'm sure I'm not the only person who doesn't know... I mean, I had no idea-"

"A fact which means absolutely nothing, Yamamoto. Seriously, I can PROVE that you are the LAST person to know."

"How?"

"Shut up and follow me," Gokudera directed, leading them back into their classroom. Searching around, he saw the person he was looking for, and called out.

"Kurokawa Hana! Come here for as second, I need to prove something."

She frowned, but came anyway. "What do you idiots need me for?"

"We hardly know each other, right? Tell me, did you know that I'm in love with someone?"

Hana rolled her eyes. "Oh please, as if it weren't totally obvious you've got the hots for-"

"Thanks, that's all we needed." Gokudera said, cutting her off rudely. He cast his eyes around the room again, before pointing to a random boy with a bowl haircut and shouted, "HEY YOU!"

"Wh-what?"

"Even though we do not know each other, could you name the person I like?"

"Oh, that's easy-"

"Thank you." He turned back to Yamamoto. "Get it now?"

"Well. These are all people in our class..."

Gokudera cut him off, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him upstairs and into a third-year classroom.

"Sasagawa Ryohei! You're an idiot. Everyone knows and acknowledges this, even you. Tell me, are you even so stupid that you can't tell who I'm in love with?"

Ryohei shook his head. "No, I know. I mean, I didn't pick up on it at first, but after a while it became extremely obvious."

"See? Extremely obvious! To someone who I, until now, thought was dumber than you!"

Yamamoto didn't have anything to say this time, instead looking thoughtful. "Well, we're still friends with Ryohei, so it's not like-"

Gokudera cut him off again, dragging him to the roof. "Hibari?"

Said prefect was napping peacefully, only opening one eye to look at the intruders. "What do you want herbivore?"

"I'm proving a scientific theory and need your help. How much do you know about me personally?"

"Scientific theory? Is it for a class?"

"Uh, sure, why not?"

Hibari frowned. "Students should allways do their classwork, I suppose," he mumbled. "Your name is Gokudera... H-somehting. Hayate, I think. You are a delinquent who likes to blow things up and disturb the school's peace, but seem smarter than the other herbivores crowding around you. Also, for some reason you have a creepy and possibly obsessive love for-"

"Thank you, Hibari," Gokudera said, turning to Yamamoto once more. "And there you go. Hibari can't remember my name, but still knows who I'm in love with. Proving that EVERYONE BUT YOU FIGURED IT OUT."

Yamamoto frowned. "Well, I'll be. But... Wait, does even Tsuna know, then?"

"Wow, you're dumb," Hibari observed.

Gokudera hit his forehead with his palm. "Um. No. He does not. But I'm pretty sure that's less because he hasn't noticed and more because he does not want to acknowledge it."

"Oh..." Yamamoto said. His eyes widened. "You don't mean- you don't mean that the person you like is-"

"NOW he gets it."

"Sasagawa Kyoko! And he won't acknowledge it because he doesn't want to think of his best friend as a rival in love!"

Gokudera groaned, hitting his head against the wall, and Hibari stared.

"No," the prefect said. "There is no way any human could possibly be this stupid."

"He is," Gokudera said from his faceplant against the door. "He really, really is."

"So... Then I'm right?"

"NO! YOU ARE NOT RIGHT! YOU ARE- FUCKING- STUPID- NO!"

Hibari whipped out his tonfas. "That's it. I'm putting you down. This is a mercy killing- for your own sake, and everyone else's."

"Wait! I can't die until I figure out who Gokudera is in love with!"

"IT'S TSUNA!" the other two called simultaneously.

"Tsuna? Really?"

"YES!"

"But... Tsuna's a BOY!"

"Oh my god, has it seriously never occurred to you that someone could be gay?"

Yamamoto shook his head. "Nope."

Hibari stalked forward, armed. "Definitely a mercy killing."

"Don't bother aiming for his head, there's obviously nothing in there to break." Gokudera supplied.

"Actually, now that you mention it, it does kinda seem like you might like him, huh?"

"Shut up, Yamamoto."


End file.
